R.I.P AVRIL LAVIGNE (F*CK MELISSA)

Okay I know what you’re thinking. “ZABE! Where have you been!?” Honestly, I’m thinking that same exact thing. Like seriously, where HAVE I been for the last few months. Its okay because I got some ideas and I’m ready to SPEAK MY MIND! I GOT THOUGHTS NOW! But honestly, I know why you’re here so lets just get into it.

BACKGROUND

Everyone knows who Avril Lavigne is. She is the POP PUNK PRINCESS! No one can top her! And in 2002, this was everyone’s reality. She was EVERYWHERE. Avril grew up as a country singer but when she was around 16-17 years old, she found her crowd in the pop punk scene. (Hence you can hear some of her country roots/tones in her first album “Let Go”). ANYWAY, Avril released her first single, “Complicated” in May of 2002 which was number one for SIXTEEN WEEKS!

Her album came out, topping the charts along with her single that we all know “Sk8r boi” in August of the same year. She went on a Europe tour blessing the world with this ICONIC interview.

As you can tell, Avril is an angsty 18 year old who hates the world and specifically hates the paparazzi. She mentions this in a few different interviews on how she just can’t stand the idea of smiling and everything and when paparazzi DO come around, she will have her hoodie up, head down, won’t talk to cameras etc.

Now lets get to the conspiracy…

So because Avril hated the paparazzi and wasn’t a big fan of the fame (I mean she literally said in the above video “I’m making this behind the scene to expose the music business.”). The record company decided to hire a look alike . Her name is Melissa Vandella.

Screen-Shot-2015-10-01-at-14-56-43
literally why the HELL would “Avril” have “MELISSA” written on her hand!!!

Having a double is NOT new to the music industry. Plenty of celebrities have it. So Melissa was hired by the record company to do some paparazzi stuff while Avril got to try to do more normal things. The theory is that one day Avril and Melissa were in the studio and Avril thought it would be funny to teach Melissa how to sing like her. And turns out Melissa could it do it very well!

In 2003, Avril’s grandfather passed away. Avril was very very close to her grandfather and she didn’t know really how to handle it. She would cry on stage, apparently would lock herself in her apartment in LA and write for weeks etc. And if you’ve listened to “Under My Skin,” her second album, you know what I mean when I say that album is S-A-D! ( Our girl was going through some shit)

Unfortunately, this where Avril’s life ends. Avril committed suicide at the end of 2003. Instead of the record label announcing her death, they decided to fill the spot with Melissa. Avril was at the peak of her fame, and they wanted that to continue.

02FMic
FASHION ICON!

* a moment of silence for the REAL Avril Lavigne thank you*

Melissa released “Under My Skin,” and did the tour and stuff for that. She was pretty MIA in 2005 and 2006 until Girlfriend comes out in 2007. Okay, I’m not gonna lie…this song SLAPS! but it’s not Avril! It’s Melissa. People can say that Avril “grew up” but the things that Melissa started doing were things that Avril sang about how she was AGAINST! Avril was trying to defy society so why we should fall into them?

The blonde hair? The pink streaks? The high heels and skirts? THIS WOMEN IS NOT THE ANGSTY AVRIL I KNOW AND LOVE.

Things get weirder when she releases one of the worst song to date called “Hello Kitty” in 2014. She’s dancing, doing EDM type music, PRODUCT PLACEMENTS! Don’t people do the opposite? Follow society norms and THEN break apart and say “woah! its just about the music!!! screw the business!!” Not the other way around! OH! THAT’S RIGHT! ITS BECAUSE ITS MELISSA!!!!

Anyway, here is “Hello Kitty”…I honestly don’t need to say much on this one.

*shudders*

Random Collection of Evidence:

Voice difference between Avril and Melissa (Bob Dylan song until 2:29, Complicated starts at 2:31) (((Complicated really shows a difference!!)))

  • This theory was apparently brought up in an interview with Melissa and she got all weird and said “well I’m here so that’s not true.” She then stumbled on all her words on the performance after!!! (I don’t have a video but whatevs it happened)
  • Public appearances by “Avril” increased dramatically in 2003 (when Melissa stepped in) and she started making famous friends which she never did before!
  • Avril’s Canadian accent is VERY heavy in the first two albums. But it NEVER appears again in interviews or her songs anymore!
  • Handwriting DIFFERENCES!!!!!!!
    Screen Shot 2017-05-19 at 12.27.16 AM
    Avril’s Handwriting

    Screen Shot 2017-05-19 at 12.27.24 AM
    MELISSA’S!!
  • Another side note: the interviews changed completely. When Avril first came out, she said whatever she wanted. She wanted to be strong and independent and was quoted saying how she didn’t want to sell sex because she had a lot to say. When Melissa comes to the scene… interviews are just more professional. She is this sweet girl who makes pop music. The interview style, her physical appearance, her music..EVERYTHING CHANGED!!!!!!

Also this photo mESSES ME UP! LIKE! WHAT!!! The NOSE! The smaller chin, the eye shape, the distance between her eyebrows. Did her lips get a little smaller? I don’t know y’all this just messes with me!!

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ANYWAY MOMENT OF SILENCE AGAIN FOR THE ICONIC AVRIL!!!!

 

Ugh I love her.

 

Anyway, what do you think? Do you believe in this theory? I would say that ultimately this isn’t my TOP theory that I’m into. Will I now worship Avril until the day I die??? Yeah probably. I’ve been listening to her so much I CAN’T STOP!!!! NO ONE CAN STOP ME!!! (but STRICTLY “Let Go” and “Under My Skin.” AVRIL ONLY! NOT MELISSA!!)

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